Week 1: Budget

Johnny threw his last few drachma onto the table, one coin rolling off onto the dusty floor.
"For God's sake" he muttered, trying to drag it back with his sandal.
A small pile of coins had now amassed in the middle, joined by a few loaves of bread, a couple of jugs of wine and a token for a free donkey ride.

"Right, what we got..? How many did you say were outside?" queried Andy,
Everyone sat around the table dropped their heads.

Phil, one of the eldest of the group, leaned back in his chair and peered through the tent entrance surveying the crowds outside. He looked back at Andy, eyes wide and shaking his head.
"Thousands. Fucking thousands."
He leaned back again, tightly gripping the curtain door with his hands.
"Loads of lepers. Some blind people. One dude with an ear hanging off."

The lads all looked at one another pulling worried faces. Outside, the crowds’ chanting had started again, louder than before.

Andy rolled out a copy of the poster on the table.
"For one night only..." he started, "come and be amazed by the show of a lifetime"
He glanced up and looked at James, looking more sheepish than before.
"All you can eat bread, wine & fish. Families welcome."
"What were you thinking?" barked Johnny, glaring at the now red-faced James who squirmed in his seat.
"They're all over town" he replied, putting his head in his hands, "I must have put up about 80 this morning."
"Yeah, and spent the whole budget putting lies on posters" snapped Andy, slamming down his fist,
"OK right, one of you start counting the money. All we need to do is find a fuck-load of fish, bread and wine before Jesus gets back. We need a miracle or we're finished."

Week 1: Budget

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It's Tuesday night and everything should be great.

I can smell lasagne cooking in the kitchen below and can hear Kelly rushing around in the kitchen, sometimes singing, sometimes swearing.

I should be down there. Pouring wine, watching Great British Menu, offering to cut the garlic bread.

Instead I’m in the spare room: The ‘Noffice’. Currently my office but earmarked as a future nursery.

I read the message again.

‘You have overspent on this year’s budget and have not met agreed targets. The board have decided to relieve you of your duties. Thank you for your hard work.’

The message flashes on the screen. I read it again. Once more. I think of the hours wasted and remember the decisions that sent me over budget. Could I have done anything different? My ideas notebook sits redundantly next to the laptop. Full of plans for the rest of the year.

A call from below, ten minutes. Ten minutes to get over the disappointment, plan my next move and go downstairs and pretend like nothing’s wrong.

Another call. The wine needs to be opened and yes, the garlic bread needs to be cut. Time to get over it. It was a shock and a quick decision but I start thinking about bouncing back.

It was fun while it lasted and I’ll never forget that season we got to the playoffs. Goodbye Yeovil Town. I’ll start a new game tomorrow, maybe an Italian club. And I’ll definitely stick to the budget.