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@StephenFry @ronnytimes #ronnystimemachine
@Joey7Barton @ronnytimes what a twat
@Tracey_thorn Why the fuck was I not invited?
It wasn’t what he had expected.
There was a table full of sandwiches, salad and crisps along
the sidewall and in the corner, a smaller side table heaved under the weight of
bottles of vodka and whisky. Along the floor cases of Coke and Red Bull were
torn apart by the various hangers-on.
He was standing alone, tweeting and checking his emails. He
mailed the office once or twice just to show he was working and updated Twitter
a lot. Getting the tone right was tricky and required all his journalistic
skill. He wanted his acquaintances to know just how bloody cool he was but he
was also hoping to pick up some new, cooler, followers. His ‘Times’ Twitter
account was one of his favourite things about the job. @RonnyTimes, oh yeah.
‘Hurts Adam rocking
purple brogues #coolshoes’
Tweet.
Not perfect but it had got him one Favourite and a new
follower in @HurtsFansUK
Hurts were a good one to get, current.
The room was busy but nobody was staying in the same place
for long. Just him. He hadn’t moved from his spot since he arrived 25 minutes
ago. That would change in a minute; he was ready for another drink.
A group email from the office, problems on the Victoria
line.
The guys would be stuck in the station or on the train right
about now. Or maybe they went to the pub to wait it out. Maybe Fee went? Dan
would definitely be there. It would have been his idea. Whatever. Nothing would
happen. And he would have loads to tell Fee in the morning.
A quick tweet.
Richard Hawley arrived
but stayed away from the party. #oldpro #elderstatesman
No retweets. What harm, Hawley fans probably weren’t big on
Twitter.
He got another drink giving a girl in the corner with cool
pink hair a smile as he poured. No hi though, he didn’t want to be too forward.
From the corner of his eye he spotted activity and grabbed his phone.
Paul Young and Noel
Hogan (Cranberries) in the house and hitting the Jack. #whereisJarvis????
Back at his perch there was less space. Two older black guys
had showed up and were chatting and laughing.
Retaking his space, but feeling less comfortable, he texted
his boss, who was probably in the pub with Fee too.
Going well, slow start
but will file in the morning.
Send.
Why did he send that? Fucking tit.
Phone back in the pocket. Buzz. Back out. A reply from Adam.
Great, thanks. Enjoy.
A sigh. The new arrivals’ chat got louder, they were talking
about drums, and as they become more animated he lost more room. He downed his
drink and committed to saying hello to that girl when he refilled. Then he
caught the face. Older but the way he was talking and the way he was dressed,
it could be no one else.
He interrupted (it was his job).
“Sorry to interrupt guys, but are you, Ini Kamoze?”
The older one beamed a grateful ‘Yes’.
“I didn’t see you on the bill. Man, I loved Hotstepper”
“Thank” he dropped his head in the direction of his friend. “You
know Ezeke?”
“I don’t think so”
“The Man, Ezeke?”
“Pleased to meet you”
They laughed.
“I was a huge fan of Hotstepper”
“Man, stop on about that song. On about it, on about it. I’m
talking to my friend about the place where I was birth”
“Would you mind if I took a photo?”
He didn’t tweet the snap but he would show it to Fee
tomorrow.
The chat was too good not to tweet though;
Kicking with Ini Kamoze
and his crew. Talk of drums and the homeland. Show starting in 30.
Time for that drink. The girl was gone. Replaced by a queue.
He waited, poured, drank and poured again.
Sam Fox and Kim Wilde were catching up in the corner (he
still would, both of them). Yes. This was it.
Out with the phone.
His Connect icon was lit up in successful blue. Fucking
hell, @alexispetridis
had tweeted him.
@ronnytimes tweeting
like he’s at Woodstock. #90sTribute
And below:
@CopyThatUK RT:
@alexispetridis @ronnytimes tweeting like he’s at Woodstock. #90sTribute
@Factoclock RT:
@alexispetridis @ronnytimes tweeting like he’s at Woodstock. #90sTribute
@laurenlaverne @ronnytimes
biggest show in town. #90sTRIBUTE #ronnytimes
@StephenFry @ronnytimes #ronnystimemachine
@Joey7Barton @ronnytimes what a twat
@Tracey_thorn Why the fuck was I not invited?
@footiefan
RT @Joey7Barton @ronnytimes what a twat
@angryman
RT @Joey7Barton @ronnytimes what a twat
He read and reread until the tannoy
croaked into action. The voice of Bruno Brooks.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to take
your seat and journey back in time. Get ready for the very special, the spectacular, the sensational,
the 1990s TRIBUTE”
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